


How to Train Your Chat

by Miikado, TheCookieMonster77, totallynotapumpkindonut



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Drabble Series, Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, Humor, Post Reveal, adrien is an Actual Cat, bad chabits AU, fluffy fluff fluff (there's a lot sorrynotsorry)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2018-08-16 16:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8108755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miikado/pseuds/Miikado, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCookieMonster77/pseuds/TheCookieMonster77, https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallynotapumpkindonut/pseuds/totallynotapumpkindonut
Summary: Marinette would like to remind Adrien that even if he is a superhero in a cat suit, he's not actually a cat.(Said reminder has absolutely no effect on Adrien's behavior.)(He's lucky he's cute.)





	1. Show No Mercy

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when the enablers mention ridiculous cat behaviors and I then picture Adrien doing said behaviors.
> 
> Oops

**Disclaimer: I do not own Miraculous Ladybug.**

* * *

Marinette wonders if she can set the bathroom door on fire if she glares just a _little bit harder_ …

She doesn't think it'll be hard. She's about 99.7% sure the bathroom door is groaning underneath the force of her anger right now- spontaneous combustion is just logically the next result.

An innocent little whistle tickles her ears and begins to harmonize with the war drums pounding in her head.

 _Ah yes_ , Marinette thinks fondly. _The bane of my existence_.

Adrien, the oblivious darling little _jerk,_ is currently ruining Marinette's one day off this week.

Marinette glares at the bathroom door harder.

All she wants is a nice, soothing escape from the blistering heat. It's horrible weather, the type of muggy, lazy heat that clings to you with no blessing of a breeze. It's so bad even Tikki and Plagg have sought refuge in the fridge (Plagg undoubtedly eating his way through their cheese stash right now). Marinette would _love_ to join them, but not even this heat can trick Marinette's brain into thinking that's anything other than a horrible horrible idea. She had decided to settle for a nice, arctic temperature bath, only to have her boyfriend betray her in her time of need.

The beautiful jerk is currently hoarding their one-person tub - _and_ coolest spot in the house - with a jealous fervor.

(He had _hissed_ at her when she tried to enter earlier. Actually _hissed!_ )

(If Marinette weren't so dead set on vegetating in an ice bath right now, she'd be scolding Plagg for giving Adrien such bad manners.)

The worst part of this whole ordeal is that Adrien isn't even _using_ the tub! He's just laying in an oversized _empty_ bowl, all because "porcelain is so cool and nice on my back Marinette!"

Marinette wonders if she's legally allowed to skin a cat.

A cheerful whistle drifts past the closed door and something in Marinette snaps. "This is ridiculous," she snarls under her breath as she marches into the bathroom.

The door hits the wall with a loud _bang_ and splintering sound. Marinette marches to the tub with a straight spine, eyes narrowing as the jaunty whistle cuts off in a hiss.

Marinette scowls at her boyfriend as he squints through the intruding light. He had flipped himself around at some point, his feet dangling over the edges of the tub and his head hovering underneath the faucet as he props himself up on his elbows to pout up at her.

Marinette stares him dead in the eye as she turns on the cold water full blast.

Adrien _yowls_ , the cold water drenching his head and back as he scrambles to get away from the water. He whacks his elbows against the tub and stubs a toe on a wall in his mad dash to get out of the tub and away from the water. He scuttles out of the bathroom before he seems to fully realize he's running away from the gushing water and he whirls around to stare down Marinette with sad kitty eyes.

"Mari _nette_ ," he whines, lower lip pushing out in a deep pout. " _Why?"_

Marinette smiles at him, all sharp edges and bared teeth. "All's fair in love and war, Kitty," she says sweetly, right before she slams the door in his face.


	2. Define Territories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by (unfortunately) true events with my actual cat

There were places in the apartment where Adrien wasn't allowed.    
  
As surprising as it might've sound, seeing how he was a fully grown adult man who paid his share of the rent for the place, some spots he was completely forbidden from approaching.    
  
Namely, Marinette's drawer of sewing supplies, after a very unfortunate ribbon incident a few weeks ago... So maybe he had turned the whole thing upside down and taken a nap in the shreds of fabric and lace? That didn't mean he was unreliable! He was a grown, mature man, and he didn't take too kindly on being banned from places in his own home.    
  
And as a grown, mature man, he had decided to show his discontentment by sulking on the living-room couch.    
  
Marinette didn't seem to mind his temper tantrum all that much, instead deciding to take advantage of the—all too rare—peace and quiet around the apartment to make some progress on the design she was currently working on.    
  
It was coming along pretty nicely, with only the last few tweaks to finish on the sleeve before the whole thing was done. Marinette was working with a light heart and a clear mind, enjoying the tranquility, when suddenly...   
  
_ SMASH _   
  
The most violent sound of wood smashing and heavy tumbling resonated in the apartment, rattling the entire floor of the building.    
  
Marinette jumped out of her skin in fright, and rushed out of the room to find the source of her sound.    
  
When she reached the living room, she was very much displeased to find the large wooden bookshelf smashed on the floor, its contents having spilled around the entire room, and Adrien standing just a foot away from the whole scene, frowning and lips pressed in a tight line.    
  
« What happened? » The brunette girl gasped.    
  
« Nothing. » Adrien answered, keeping his eyes on the debris.    
  
« Adrien the whole bookshelf is in pieces, something happened! »   
  
A moment of silence, an admittance of guilt.    
  
« It fell... »   
  
« And it fell... Why? » The girl pressed on.    
  
« Too much weight... »   
  
Marinette stared in horror as she let the thought sink in.    
  
« Adrien... Did you... Did you climb the bookshelf? »   
  
A shrug.    
  
« Adrien... »   
  
A nod.    
  
« There was a spot of light on the ceiling... »   
  
A sigh.    
  
There were places in the apartment where Adrien wasn't allowed.    
  
And now the whole living room was one of them.


	3. Until the Sun Comes Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't actually remember what I did to get credit for this, so here's a chapter inspired by my adorable new cat and his need to be social. Sorry for the use of the US measuring system not the metric. This was a quick write. -Pumpkin

It was finally Saturday. This week had included a particularly tricky akuma and physics test, so by eight PM, Marinette was already bra gone, snuggled in bed, looking at old fashion magazines she found thrift shopping earlier that day, trying to think of a show to marathon until the sun comes up. She just lived in that perfect silence; allowing herself to be content for the first time this week. 

Of course, by eight thirty that silence was broken. 

“Marinette, are you sure you don’t want to help patrol?” Chat said through the two inch space between her window and its sill. 

Marinette turned a page. “Nope, I’m good.”

“But the lights are so pretty tonight. We could dance on the rooftops or something. It’d be super romantic.”  
“Nah.”

“Come on. The night is young and so are we!”

“Then go live your life to its fullest. You don’t need me to have fun.”

“I absolutely need you to have fun. I could come in and hang if you really don’t want to go out?”

Marinette thought about. On one hand, hanging out with Adrien _was_ fun and she wouldn’t need to put on a bra if they were just staying in her room. On the other hand, they’d probably end up playing video games and get all loud and competitive about it. She wanted to unwind not wind so tight she explodes. 

“Not tonight. You’ll be fine without me. Just go patrol and work off that energy.”

Adrien tried to slip his hand through the window. Unfortunately for Marinette, she’d take the screen off that window during her first month as Ladybug. He got the majority of his forearm through and swiped it around like she was only a few inches away, not feet. 

“Marinette.” 

She didn’t even have to look to know he was pouting (and she wasn’t going to because his pout was cute and she was weak).

“The city is safe. I’ll keep the news up on my phone in case that changes. We haven’t hung out in forever.”

“Adrien, we literally had lunch yesterday.”

“But that’s lunch. You can’t really get that hanging out experience if it’s only like an hour!”

“I’m sure Nino would love to have a sleepover.”

“We did that yesterday, because he’s got a DJing thing tonight.”

_This is going on way to long. He’s really not going to let it go._ She looked at the last page of her magazine, longing for the calm she had achieved when she had started it. _I could just shut the window and close the curtains. He would probably leave. But then he’d be sad about it all night, and well, the moment has been ruined anyways._

“You can come in on one condition,” she stared at him, attempted to convey the severity of what would happen if he broke said condition, “we watch cheesy TV without excessive talking.”

“I agree on the condition that there’s cuddling.”

Marinette opened the window. _It’s a good thing he likes anime._

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone curious, chap 1 is by Cookie (find my writing tumblr [here](http://77-cookies.tumblr.com)) ([Mikado](http://crazycatladymikado.tumblr.com), [Pumpkin](http://totallynotmiraculace.tumblr.com)). You can find more for this series [here](http://thecookiemonster77.tumblr.com/tagged/bad-chabits). Updates will be very sporadic (at least on my part), expect lots of ridiculousness lol
> 
> Funny cat story/video suggestions are 110% acceptable, pls give them to me
> 
> All kudos and comments are loved and appreciated, thank you!


End file.
